The Taste of Her Words Read online

  Subtle harassment included.

  Julia gave me a knowing look as she entered the kitchen.

  “He wants full custody,” I said quietly, already knowing what was coming. Matt wanted me to live in hell. Ever since I took him to court for child support, he’d been chipping away at me in the hopes he could reverse the ruling and get full custody. It would be the final move to regain full power over me.

  I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t lose my boy.

  “He can rot in hell,” Julia said, after making sure she was out of Charlie’s earshot. Her weathered hands took over the scrubbing of the dishes, her presence like the sun appearing on a cloudy day. “There’s no way in hell a judge would grant him that.”

  “I didn’t think they’d give him fifty-fifty custody either, considering he doesn’t even work, but when you have money overflowing from your family, possibilities are endless.”

  “What about your family?”

  She knew my backstory. Knew my family name was huge in the legal world. Hale & Thurston, two of the most prestigious lawyers in the south.

  “I’d die before I’d ask them for a penny,” I said, feeling like it was going to be a long night. “Charlie, honey, your food is ready.”

  Charlie dropped his iPad and headed straight for the barstool while Matt fiddled with the remote. I hated having him in my home. He left his scent on my furniture. Touched my things.

  He wanted to crawl inside every inch of my head and dominate it.

  After he sat, Charlie closed his eyes and inhaled, a bright smile crossing his lips. “It smells amazing, Momma.” He bowed his head, waiting for me to do the same, and then we said a quick prayer before he dug in.

  Julia and I smiled at each other, and then I glanced at my watch. “I better get going. I’m already going to be late.” I turned to Charlie and kissed his forehead. “Be good for Julia. Be sure to brush your teeth and read before bedtime. I’ll see you first thing in the morning. I love you.”

  He swallowed a mouth full of macaroni before beaming another smile at me. “Love you too, Momma.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” I asked Julia, nodding in Matt’s direction.

  She waved me off and leaned in close enough so only I could hear. “The only one who should be worried is him. A woman doesn’t make it to seventy-two without learning a few tricks when it comes to dealing with assholes.”

  I bit back a smile and patted her shoulder before kissing her cheek. She was right. She was tough as nails and equally as sweet as candy… a force Matt could never stand against.

  Grabbing my purse and a small container of macaroni, I headed out the door, taking the stairs two at a time. Once outside our small apartment complex, I was instantly assaulted by the heat. July had made itself right at home, breathing its stale, stinking breath over the heart of our colorful city of Nashville.

  After crossing the street, I reached for my phone, which was buzzing in my purse. I had to dig for a minute, shoving things aside, wishing I’d put it in my back pocket rather than in the never-ending pit. Finally retrieving it, I read the text.

  Cami: Where the hell are you? Sandra’s already hogging up the good ones.

  It was my best friend from college. Cami was the only one who hadn’t shunned me after I made the decision to drop out of college when I found out I was pregnant.

  Me: I’m a couple of blocks away. Sorry. Dick paid me a visit today, but not in the enjoyable way.

  Cami was the only person in the world who knew everything there was to know concerning Matt. She was there when he first cheated. And then when he cheated for a second, third, and fourth time. She helped me keep my resolve when he’d show up at my dorm, begging me to come back. She even helped me file for child support when I noticed he spent more on his shoes than he did on the things Charlie needed.

  Is there ever an enjoyable way to be visited? They’re either too short, too limp, or too early. I swear it’s hard to find a good one nowadays.

  Cami, I replied.

  Andy, she mocked. Don’t be such a prude. A woman can have taste in penis. You should try it sometime.

  Even though I was used to the way Cami talked, I still couldn’t keep my cheeks from reddening. She was a free spirit, exploring man after man without a second thought while I wrote my desires on paper. I didn’t have time for men and their issues. Matt caused enough, and we weren’t even sleeping together.

  Another bubble appeared as I waited for her message to come through.

  So, like I was saying… this place is starting to crowd up. Need you here like yesterday. See you soon.

  I hooked a right and headed in the direction of the bar—The Hollow Boot. It still amazed me that even on a Wednesday night, we had people from all over the world filling the bar with noise and thirsty mouths.

  I took an early left and passed a homeless lady I often noticed sleeping in the same spot. She was sprawled out next to her pile of garbage bags, unmoving. I nudged her shoulder, and her eyes popped open.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked, holding the container out to her. I wouldn’t have time to eat at work. I never did, and I’d rather someone take it who needed it than let it spoil.

  She nodded. After taking it, she didn’t waste any time as she popped the top off and dug in with half-gloved fingers. “Thank you,” she muttered in between bites.

  “You’re welcome.” I smiled warmly. “Stay safe.”

  A few minutes later, I fought through the growing crowd inside The Hollow Boot until Cami spotted me and waved me over. The air was thick with smoke and the scent of hops as my steps crunched over the peanut shells littering the floor. A bluster of voices bounced off one another as bodies twisted and turned to fit together better.

  “Hey,” Sandra said loudly as she poured two shots of tequila, liquid pooling up to the rims. “Late again? What’s that… the third time this week?” A sly, menacing grin followed her words.

  Sandra liked me about as much as I liked Matt. Her blonde hair was in a tight bun, stretching back the bronzed skin across her forehead. Her makeup was thick, eyebrows drawn too high. From day one, we hadn’t gotten along. She blamed it on my annoying, do-good attitude that didn’t sit right with her. I blamed it on her lack of relating to anyone other than the opposite sex.

  Only if they were into her.

  “Don’t listen to her, honey. She’s just salty.” Eric, my salvation and good friend, finished washing the glasses as he spoke. “She’s pissed because the last customer told her she was bitchy.” He side-eyed Sandra and pursed his lips. “And if the shoe fits, Cinderella…”

  I suppressed a smile and headed through the swinging doors toward Cami’s office. We walked an aberrant line by being best friends, since she was also my manager. Even though I knew she was cut and dry, I never quite knew how to act since we tried to keep it separate from business.

  “Shut the door,” she said from behind her desk. She was wearing the outfit I bought her last year for her birthday—a floral-print romper and a pair of her favorite cowboy boots. Auburn locks fell over her shoulders, not a single curl out of place.

  “Cami, I’m so sorry about being late. I tried—”

  “It’s fine, Andy. I just need your help,” she cut over me, fingers sweeping over the keyboard as the music from outside tapped against the door.

  I breathed a little easier and took the seat across from her, scooting closer to the desk. “What’s up?”

  “I’m trying to come up with this week’s slogan for an ad Rick wants to run, but I’m stuck.”

  Rick—the owner of the bar—was as easy to work with as the hangry version of myself… while on my menstrual cycle.

  She looked up from the computer, pleading with her deep green eyes. I was a sucker, and she knew it. “You’re so good with words, Andy. I figured you could help me.”

  “Well, I—”

  “Don’t play coy. You know you are.”

  I thought for a second. Moved my finger through the air besi
de the chair, writing, testing, and rearranging letters until the right words formed.

  “The Hollow Boot—where thirsty dreams are filled.”

  She slapped the desk. “See!” She resumed typing. “You’re too talented to be bartending.” She paused and eyed me, wiggling her eyebrows.

  I pushed the stapler that was about to fall off the edge of the desk back. “It’s just a few words, Cami.”

  “A few I’ve spent the last hour trying to come up with on my own, and you just waltz in here and spit the right ones out.”

  I knew the speech that was sitting on the tip of her tongue. The whole go-back-to-school discussion. Write-the-story-you’ve-been-meaning-to-write declamation everyone always gave, none of them knowing exactly what it took to tangibly form the words everyone thought I could so easily pump out.

  I needed inspiration. Something to pour from my soul without thought. Something meaningful.

  Something I didn’t currently have.

  Melt me down with your hot kiss.

  Undress me with your eyes.

  “You set for your trip home?” Cami asked, changing the subject.

  I groaned, scratching at the leather arm of the chair. “Unfortunately.” Peering at her, I raised my eyebrows. “You sure you don’t want to come? Mother will miss you.”

  Cami chortled, pushing back from the desk as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I’ve had my fair share of crazy when it comes to her. I’m not up for her opinion about ladies working at bars. Maybe next time?”

  We laughed, because we knew there’d never be a next time for Cami. Not unless hell froze over.

  From as far back as I could remember, my parents hosted an annual Fourth of July celebration at their ranch in support of my father’s law firm. It was a way for him to network and spend time with the family.

  Though… for the past five years, I skipped out.

  When the invite came this time, I had to say yes. It wasn’t fair to keep Charlie from them, so I bit the bullet and put in for two weeks’ vacation.

  Really, you just wanted to keep yourself from seeing him. Dean.

  Every year I went, it was the same thing. Go to the ranch. Be scolded by Mother for not having a suitable man by my side. Reminded of past mistakes that put me in the position I was in. Told how much potential I had, placing heavy emphasis on the past tense of that word.

  And maybe she was right. Maybe I did lose my potential for writing a masterpiece when I decided to have unprotected sex with Matt. When I decided to keep my baby even though the father was sleeping with almost every girl on the floor of my dorm. But I wouldn’t ever say I regretted having Charlie. He was my potential. Everything I had, my hopes and dreams, they were given willingly to him the moment the nurse put him in my arms and he opened those bright blue eyes.

  He was an explosion of words inside my heart. Joy. Love. Fear. Excitement. Heartache.

  Open your hands and take my heart.

  My mother would never make me feel ashamed for that choice.

  “You good here?” I asked, feeling my tips slipping between my fingers every second I spent away from the bar. I needed them if I was going to survive the next two weeks I had off.

  “Yeah,” Cami said, the disappointment in her eyes stabbing at my chest. “Yeah, we’re good. Go get ‘em, tiger.”

  2

  F I R S T S I G H T

  Your eyes are sex.

  Your mouth is fire.

  Undress me with your desire.

  IT WAS A BUSY NIGHT.

  There wasn’t even time for a bathroom break. Tourists were in and out. Some watched the sports game, others played pool in the corner, and plenty more took thousands of selfies using those ridiculous sticks.

  But I couldn’t complain because the tips flowed like water.

  “Hot guy, ten o’ clock,” Eric said as he passed me to grab a bottle of champagne from the mini-fridge. He had a knack for scouting the eye candy to help pass the night. Even Sandra would get in on the action from time to time as we’d rank them, and then offer the winner a free shot.

  I looked up, feeling the thirst for a hot man, but had to stand on my tiptoes to see past the two old geezers who were snacking on nuts, eyes pinned to the TV behind me, that I currently served. The moment my gaze landed near the door, my whole body turned white hot, as if I’d been standing next to the sun.

  Not tonight. Please, God, of all nights, why? Why me?

  It was my younger brother Josh and his group of friends. Five years ago, I told Josh to keep away when he decided to attend college in the same city I lived in. To claim any other bar, because the last thing I needed was to be the butt of another joke made by one of his frat brothers.

  But it must have slipped his mind, because there he was, waving at me as his group followed, squeezing up to the bar.

  “What are you doing here, Josh?” I asked through my teeth as I fumbled with two more beers for the customers in front of me.

  “Grabbing a drink.” He tried to look innocent, though his hazel eyes sparkled mischievously. “Figured I’d come in and say hello to my dear, sweet sister.”

  Everyone who saw us together asked if we were twins, although I’d yet to see how anyone could possibly think that. Aside from our six-year difference, he had six inches over my 5’5” status, and more muscles than even he probably knew how to use. I was the least athletic person I knew. Just the thought of sweating made me want to pack up and live in an igloo. His go-to remark was a smile, whereas mine was a frown. He had a baby face, and I’d noticed the beginning stages of wrinkles on mine.

  But underneath his irksome personality was the little boy I’d still do anything for.

  “You don’t believe me?” He frowned, voice raised over the music.

  I wished my glare had the ability to slap him upside the head. “No, because I know you’re just checking up on me. Your motives are as see-through as that glass of water, Josh Allen Hale.”

  He scoffed and leaned forward. “Fine, whatever. You’re coming this year, right?” he asked, not bothering to pretend. “Word is you’re unsure. The Fourth of July hasn’t been the same without you, Andy.”

  “Like you care.” I handed the man next to him his change and thanked him when he slid me two dollars.

  “Did you actually just say that?” Josh grabbed at his chest as if I’d mortally wounded him. “Of course I care. Who will Mom have to nag if you’re not there?”

  I huffed and flipped him a look. “That’s all I’m good for? Gee, thanks. I already told Mother I’d be there. Otherwise, I’d never hear the end of it.”

  He twisted his lips. “Good. Can I get a Bud Light?”

  “You’re still drinking that shit?”

  Two of the guys closest to him snickered, nudging him in the arm.

  I felt the control over my nerves dissolving. “I told you to find another bar, Josh.”

  He balked. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

  “I can take them,” Sandra said as she sidled up next to me, a bottle of Bud Light in hand. “You know Rick doesn’t want any customers turned away. It’s bad for business.” She uncapped the bottle and slid it across the bar.

  “Thank you,” Josh said to her while smirking at me, wearing the same coy look I’d seen a million times before. “I’m glad someone understands hospitality.”

  “Josh,” I gritted out.

  Sandra leaned in like the snake she was, using her arms to amplify her cleavage. “Anything else I can get you, darlin’?”

  Josh raised his eyebrows at me, and then matched her lean, laying on the southern charm. One by one, she took the guys’ orders as they named off several types of craft beers, some knocking the others for their choice. Sandra pointed a second later to someone I couldn’t make out behind the towering old men. “And what about him?”

  I should have known by the devilish smirk on Josh’s face that whoever he was, the knowledge was going to flip my night over on its ass.

&nb
sp; “Who? Dean? He’ll take a Shirley Temple. He’s the DD tonight.” Josh’s eyes locked on me, a grin brewing. “I guess I forgot to mention Dean’s here.”

  The air suddenly felt stifling. “I… I thought he was in New York,” I said, knowing it was where he attended college.

  “He was… until he graduated,” Josh said. “Can you believe he found an internship in Knoxville? That’s like what… two or three hours from here?”

  “Knoxville,” I repeated, my heart somewhere in my throat.

  “Yeah. And what’s even better… I actually talked him in to coming to the annual Fourth of July party this year.” He turned just enough that I could get a clear view of the childhood friend we’d known forever. A friend who used to have a silly crush on me.

  The same childhood friend I couldn’t stop fantasizing over.

  Paint me in hues of red.

  Unravel me.

  Sizzling shockwaves of awareness spread inside my veins when Dean’s eyes locked on mine and held me in place. He let one of his rare, charming smiles slip, and the memories came crashing in waves.

  Watching him chasing my brother around the yard in a game of flag football when they were younger. Fishing alongside him at the creek in our backyard as he got older. Tagging along on some of their adventures, catching glimpses of him stealing looks my way. He turned from a boy into a young man, and I realized my draw to him was more than just friendship as we shared our heartbreaks.

  I placed a hand over my tightened stomach, nerves tingling all over.

  It had been nearly five years since I’d last seen him, when he was getting ready to leave for college and I was stuck in between jobs. Five years since I… since I’d kissed him. He was slightly taller. Thicker. Covered in warm lines of muscle, a few tattoos, and a cool demeanor that said The Hollow Boot wasn’t his kind of place.

  There was a hardness in his gaze that hadn’t left since his brush with the law eight years ago, but it disappeared the moment our eyes connected. Softened like warmed butter. Just like it always did.